About Me

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Prosser, Washington, United States
artist, writer, un-organizer, cat snuggler, hug smuggler, red lipstick wearing giddy sassbag of a card peddling nerdface.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

a story and a link

On a walk to the beach during my vacation, a young boy no older than 10 was selling little styrofoam cups full of lemonade.  As I approached, he said, "Wow, you are pretty.  A beautiful woman like you deserves some cool lemonade on a hot day like this."  The cost was fifty cents, but I gave him five dollars.  I arrived at the beach to find that almost every girl was holding the same style of styrofoam cup.  It would be interesting to check in with that rascal in ten years.  I'm sure he'll be doing just fine.

Besides getting root canals and having a fabulous vacation in North Carolina, I've been busy putting together a Fan Page and regular facebook profile.  All new artwork will be posted on the fan page for all to see.  An entire section of past works both available and sold are there for the viewing as well ;).

Thursday, April 28, 2011

root canals and happy endings.

If someone were to ask me, “hey, Roz, what is the stupidest thing you’ve done in the past five years?” I would first, weigh in the time I mixed copious amounts of beer, wine and tequila before sitting my carsick-prone self in the back seat of a vehicle, and the other time I mistook Nyquil for daytime cold relief, but in the end, not poking my head in for regular dentist visits would top the list.

That's right, lovers! Two uninsured root canals and one filing later, I’ll be saying a misty eyed farewell to both of my ovaries and possibly one of my kidneys as they must be sold and dispersed on the black market. Who needs ‘em?? My back teeth are of paramount importance to me! I need them for night time grinding and lettuce masticating. Not to mention all of those beer bottle caps that would thus go unopened!

My amiable dentist is a big, Star Wars loving Canadian. I asked him about the challenges of becoming a doctor without the ability to read or write. Were the textbooks all full of pictures and paint by numbers? And, yes, before he shaved his head, he proudly sported a mullet.

To open the root canal experience, I said I knew it wasn’t standard procedure, but could I please get a morphine drip? And, hell, let’s get a round of morphine drips for everyone in the building! It’s on me today!

At this dentist office, for whatever reason (possibly just to annoy the hygenists who, I am sure, have better things to do), they offer a paraffin hand treatment, warm neck roll, massaging chair, and unlimited cable tv watching during your treatment. My dentist said they would do everything to not only make me comfortable, but to "pamper" me.

In that case, I asked if he would massage my feet and play with my hair while the rubber mould for my shiny new faux tooth was setting. He said body rubs were not part of the service. I enlightened him to the fact that there is no way he can ensure my “comfort”, if he has no idea what makes me comfortable.

Pushing a long needle into my gums, he answered my next question before I could ask it, “And sorry, Roz, no Happy Endings.”

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Up and Open.

"I fell in love with a task master and he said emotions are something to consider only after work is done." $350

Getting all of the art up at Green Spoon went over without a hitch, thanks mostly to The Dad for developing an upcycled hanging ledge and wire system for the art. He was up on the ladder for hours while I was drinking wine with Katie at the bottom, both of us swallowing quickly to say, "...a little that way..." and "...up about three inches..." or "...okay, now down....too far!" Every time he moved the ladder, he had to remind me that I needed to help him. Is this just the beginning for the egocentrical artist inside of me? Oblivious to the pains of my father?

Let's hope so.

After hanging art, setting out the metal spoon "light" and bowl made of wrenches that dad gifted to the restaurant, Katie and Gene treated us to Thai pizza from the place down the street...I will insert the name here once I remember what it was. But, oh boy, Thai pizza...yum! I don't think I've ever had it so good!

I finished about five small pieces of quote art for Matter!, cranked out a few wholesale card orders, did ten sit-ups, and started on some mini word art paintings for my Bipolar Betty site this weekend. Also, I will be blogging here:
http://www.dearbipolarbetty.blogspot.com/ starting now, if any of you are interested.

My friend Robert suggested that I surf the web for an art grant that might suit my needs while nursing a bottle of wine. It's been a long time since I've heard a more delightful way to execute a task.

"Before she could fall, she first had to walk to the edge." $350

"The untouchable flowers of your fragile sea." $200

"We opened our mouths to the sun and kicked our shoes to the ocean." $200

Sunday, March 20, 2011

green spoon.

On April 1st, chef Gene Soto and Katie Gonzales will open Green Spoon
restaurant in a posh posh location in downtown Walla Walla. And guess
who's artwork will be lucky enough to grace the walls? I'll give you
two (2) guesses:
1) she has purple hair
2) she has the attention span of a hummingbird

Thanks to my good friend Mister Manchester, there is printer stability back on the homefront
for the Bipolar Betty production (what a guy!)
While in Walla Walla on Friday to check out the amazing space, we also checked
out a little hip and happening jazzy wine bar with live music and possibly the
best pita and hummus I've ever put lips to. Unfortunately, my wild hand gestures
caused a wine glass full of flowers and water to go toppling over. Katie and I were
certain that the flowers were fake and, Why would they put fake flowers in water?
But chef Gene confirmed that, yes, indeed, they were real flowers and could he please
be seated somewhere else because we were cramping his style. We decided to replace
the "real" flowers with the faux ones that I had been wearing in my hair. Now, the idea does not even tread water, but at the time--we thought we were the funniest thing on earth. With "stage" face I whispered, "We have secretly replaced the real flowers with Roz Inga's faux accessories. Let's watch and see who notices."

Next to my favorite Pho place in WW is this long forgotten bar called McFeely's.
Really? That's brilliant! I am adiment that my father quit the farming business
and re-open the establishment. You can't see it in the photo, but in small print
it says, "You've had the rest, now try the best!" Love it!

In my studio I am listening to the audiobook version of Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk (I don't wanna die without any scars...), Silversun Pickups, Kimya Dawson, and Arcade Fire.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011


Took a few of my various Works in Progress out of shelter since
their conception to bask in the sun. It was the first semi-warm, sunny day
since....well, I want to say a million years, but it was probably November.
In my effort to Go Green and curb my addiction to canvas, there are a few fun
materials in the mix including an antique door and an antique window, courtesy once
again of my friends at Rustic Rooster in Prosser....

Just wanted to share.

Monday, March 14, 2011


***Mission Control to Satellite of Love, we have contact with
Roz Inga. Over.***

I spent a couple blissful days snuggling up to salty dogs, HGTV, sketching out random pieces of art with pastel and crayons (the kind of art you are free to do when you don't care what happens to it or who buys it), flipping through art magazines, eating my way through Portland, and watching my new favorite IFC show Portlandia. It is imperitive for my thirty-something year old liver that I cease from dairy and alcohol and processed sugar for a week (at least until Wednesday.). I want to say that I am a glowing piece of shiny happy person, but really, it's 1 o'clock in the afternoon and my over-indulgent vacation trained my brain to expect a glass of wine and a heavy meal by now. Of which
I shall be having none of today....I would put a smiling face there, but it would be a technological, abbreviated lie. By tonight, I am sure this cleanse will feel like a slow, roasting death.

Enough about me! How are you??
You are, at this moment, enjoying a randomly found suitcase full of money or some element of a charmed existence, I hope. Hey, it's spring--almost--and Bipolar Betty has new cards for you!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Buy Roz Inga (the art, not the person) at Matter!

If a Gallery could be my "bestie", it would be Matter! Gallery in
Olympia. Not only did the owner Jo inspire me to "go green" with
most all of my art, but they support both Bipolar Betty and Roz Inga.
Now, you can buy work directly from her site.
(click on the photo to visit me and enjoy the rest of her fabulous artists.)